I want to get away from my e-mail marketing platform. In with the new!

Your e-mail list is the most intimate connection you can forge with all those people around the globe who really love you and your message – well, apart from sitting around a campfire and singing Kumbayah.

(But fo’ real, how often can we do that?)

You know that one guy who gets outrageously drunk, runs around butt naked and pisses on the campfire, right? It is amusing at first but then you get super uncomfortable, even annoyed, and you just want to get the hell out of there.

Sometimes your e-mail marketing platform is just like that guy. It’s too complicated, too restrictive, too buggy and to put the icing on the cake, your favourite peeps don’t even get your e-mails sometimes. But y’know what? You deserve the best damn platform there is, and I’m here to help you get it.


MailChimp? ConvertKit? GetResponse? Aweber? MailerLite? ActiveCampaign? Something else? It doesn’t matter, you can come to me with any e-mail marketing platform known to mankind. We will make it work – no hassle, no bullshit.

I won’t tell you which one to choose because let’s be real, it all comes down to personality, needs and preferences – even though I will gladly give you some advice if you ask me nicely. After you chose your next bae, I will take care of all your integrations, sequences and subscribers – not even a single memento of your old platform shall remain. Seriously, I’m ruthless, I will purge that shit like I was the priest from The Exorcist and your old platform is that girl with the spinning head and the nasty habit of, y’know, being possessed.

Oh, and your new one? It’s gonna have all your subscribers (no hostages taken), your lists, your segmentations and it will be deeply in love integrated with your website. And you can drop me a line about any questions or concerns you might have for 2 whole weeks.

Alright, cool, but how much?

In most cases I will only ask you to kindly throw $160 at me for rescuing you from the butt naked drunk guy your old platform, however, it does depend on the complexity of the task. I will also gladly accept 50% deposit before I start executing your escape plan.

Sounds good? Good. Grab a Long Island Ice Tea and let’s talk about the deets!